Self-Nurturing On The Job

This is taken from the book "Simple Abundance" by Sarah Ban Breathnach. Very timely, and so I thought I'd share it:

September 29

"When we truly care for ourselves, it becomes possible to care far more profoundly about other people.  The more alert and sensitive we are to our own needs, the more loving and generous we can be toward others." - Eda LeShan

Rituals of self-nurturance are the mortar that holds the day together, especially when you're spending eight to ten hours away from home.  Think of a favorite cup and indulgent brews that can be warmed in the microwave (an assortment of coffees, teas, hot cocoa, and cider). Set aside ten minutes at your desk with your cup and a closed door before the day officially begins; it can center you as you thoughtfully review what needs to be done. Ten minutes of quiet at the end of the day, straightening the piles on your desk, looking over tomorrow's agenda, can help bring an orderly closure to your day before you shift gears.  Ten minutes in the morning, ten minutes at night.  No matter how busy we are, we all can invest twenty minutes to preserve the precious resources of time, creative energy and emotion.

Create a pleasing and pretty workspace.  Aim for creating a comfortable nest instead of a sterile environment.  Bring in a wonderful desk lamp, baskets and wooden boxes to hold paper and projects, a flowering plant in the winter, and a small bouquet of seasonal flowers in spring, summer, and fall.  Find yourself a personal talisman - an object with special meaning - that reminds you that you're headed in the right direction.  Keep an ample supply of your favorite pens and pencils in cups on your desk; be on the look-out for notepads or cards that suit your idiosyncrasies and delight your senses.  My trademark is usin note cards three by five inches in size that are a cross between a business and a note card.  Little civilizing details can make a tremendous difference.  Search for a handsome pillow for your chair.  Add dashes of color wherever you can - your paperclips and folders, for example.  Hang a bulletin board near your desk for clippings, cards, cartoons, inspiration, and reminders.  If you have a private office and can hang pictures, keep the walls blank until you find something you'll never tire of looking at.

Now create a comfort drawer.  Fill it with everything you ever wanted at work and didn't have: a small sering kit; safety pins; an extra pair of hose and reading glasses; pain releif; Band aids and a small tube of antiseptic ointment; small packets of tissues. Tuck in breath mints, a chocolate bar, and a couple of blank greeting cards for quick notes to distant friends.

Remember your toy box at home? Create a small one at work for those moments when you don't want to be, or simply can't be a grown-up anymore, usually in the late afternoon: three dimensional puzzles, a yo-yo, paddleball, pick-up sticks, Chinese health balls, Silly putty, a miniature kaleidoscope, or a gravity-defying bouncing ball that is a replica of the planet Jupiter.  You get the idea.

Outfit a pretty cosmetic bag to keep in your desk with dental items, deodorant, scented hand cream, emery boards, eye drops, comb, brush, a small spray of your favorite cologne, in order to freshen up midday or if you can't go home before going out in the evening.

If you work in an enlightened office or have a private one, music, espcially classical selections, can be a powerful tool for productivity.  Aromatherapy can work wonders in an office setting; get a sculptureal scent diffuser (the size of a small vase). The warm fragrant water will discreetly put moisture back into the air around your desk (very important in heated offices), and the scent is very soothing or invigorating depending upon your needs.  The only drawback to using aromatherapy in the workplace is that more people might be drawn to your desk because the environment is pleasant.

Stretch twice a day, especially if you work at a computer for long periods of time.  Read Dr. Seuss aloud, especially "Oh, the Places You'll Go".

Every week or so, bring in something good to eat (it doesn't have to be fattening) in a pretty tin or basket to share.

Treating yourself well on the job is not impossible. It can serve as a source of inspiration to bring out your best. When starting a new project, ask yourself, is there anything I can do to make this task more pleasurable? If there is, do it.

The therapeutic value of treats in the workplace is probably the last thing employers think about as a benefit, but it shouldn't be.  Working happier accomplishes much more than working harder.

Buying to soothe yourself

The past few days went by with quite a blur.  Right now, I have been searching for a possible new laptop.  This is coming on the heels of many new changes in my life which I will elaborate on in the coming days.

But anyway, I realized today that I may not need a new laptop.  That thought makes me scared because I have invested in much time online, and actual shops.  I realize that the "need" to buy a new laptop may come from a deeper issue for me, and one I need to address. My life is unfolding before me, and I am happy with the changes that are to come, and at the same time, a little uncomfortable.  I was using the search for a new laptop as a crutch for having to face some difficult issues.

Not to say that a laptop is a bad thing.  I will definitely be needing a computer, especially for work and the things I love to do.

I need some wisdom right now for this part of my life.  I should probably do some journaling (and blogging), and now would not be a good time to buy something major.

I realized too that many times, buying for some people (myself included) becomes something they do to soothe themselves, and a way for them to hide behind the "positive emotions" of a new possession (which is why it becomes addictive, like drinking).

Anyway, (deep breath), I am deciding to put off searching or buying anything major for now, and will, instead, focus on the emotions I currently need to digest and face.

Here's to new tomorrows.

The 30-day List

 I was just walking in the mall the other day with my friend, Eric (author of the famous blog Ang Peregrino).  He's been on this path to simplicity for the longest time, and I casually mentioned how difficult it was to be in the mall when you are trying to do the 100 Things. In automatic mode, I would go, "hmmm, that is a CUTE blouse, I wonder how much it is..."  In simplicity mode, it sounds like, "hmmm, cute blouse, but don't I have a similar one at home?"  To choose from Automatic to Simplicity is often a matter of emotional health for me. And, sometimes the Automatic Me wins, but more often these days, the Simple Me wins.

Anyway, he told me, "Oh, I do a 30-day list". Intrigued, I asked him to elaborate. And so, apparently, every time he thinks of buying something, he puts it on his 30-day list, meaning, he writes it down, then goes back to it after 30 days.  Often times, he finds that he doesn't need whatever item he's written down.

And so inspired, I am starting mine :)

What makes me happy: Blowing Bubbles

The photo used came from Photobucket created by: Cindy Sarcady

As many of you know, in attempting to answer the question of What Makes Me Happy, I have been going on a daily hunt, and lately, a LOT of introspection. One of my realizations is that, really, many of the things that makes me happy (and, yes, I will write about them here) are things that are actually...free (or in this case, a bottle of bubbles).

My love affair with bubbles began in kindergarten.  I remember the teacher giving us plastic cups with bubble solution and a straw (yup, no wands then). She then encouraged us to go on to the playground where many of us kids just plopped ourselves on the grass and blew away.  I remember blowing into my plastic cup and out surged an amazing amount of bubbles! It was one of the activities in kindergarten that is still branded to my memory to this day. As a kid, I loved to get all lathered up.  There was something about - and still something about - bubbles that makes me happy.  Bubbles even LOOK happy to me.

As I look back, now I know why much of my allowance goes to shampoo and body washes (ask my husband...) - some ladies buy clothes and shoes or bags when they're depressed, not me! I buy shampoo (or body wash)! I am also very particular about my bath lilies (yes, that is what you call those net-like things that resemble some sort of flower), they have to produce a LOT of bubbles.

I hope I am not getting too philosophical about this, but the beauty of bubbles may be that it reminds us that beautiful things can be fleeting, and just vanish into thin air...so seize the moment. And, if we miss it, we can always create more. 

My favorite ways (currently) of enjoying bubbles:

1. Every week, I ask permission to lock myself in the bathroom for an hour, light a few candles, put on some spa music, and just take my time in the bath;
2. When I have the privilege of staying in a hotel, I take advantage of the bathtub, I put on a LOT of bubble bath and just soak myself in bubbles;
3. The highlight of my day is taking a bath (with those marvelously smelling shampoos and body washes), and I make sure to make a lot of bubbles with my bath lily.

None of the items above, though, can compare to the experience of blowing bubbles.

Sadly, I haven't been playing with bubbles much (aside from the bathroom of course), thinking that it was "childish" and "silly" if I did.  Truth be told, I have been buying bubble solution (or making our own) purportedly for my kids, when all the while, maybe, I was really the one who wanted to play, or at least, some forgotten part of me.

Maybe we would all be happier if we allowed ourselves to do childish and silly things...

So now I confess, I still love to blow bubbles, and it is only now that I have realized that it actually IS one of the things that make me happy. Such as simple thing, and yet, fascinating.

For all my friends who are willing to confess that they enjoy bubbles too, here are a few simple recipes:

Gumamela Bubble Recipe (we actually used to make this as kids :)

4 Gumamelas (Hibiscus) - pound until some slimy stuff come out
1 cup of water
some detergent

Exploratorium Bubble Recipe

2/3 cup Joy dishwashing liquid
1 gallon water
2-3 Tablespoons glycerin (I think you can find these at Mercury Drug)

Ok, am off to a toy store to buy me a bottle of happiness (or, if I am feeling up to it, make my own :)

What makes me happy: Meeting amazing people

On answering the question of How much is enough?, I have been dwelling on the adjunct question, what makes me happy?  So aside from continually lessening my stuff to 100 things (the challenge, I find, is not only in removing, but also, people keep on giving me things! Not really a bad thing, I may add, but definitely makes my goal a little harder to reach...), I have been journaling and dwelling on the things that truly make me happy.  I will be blogging about these things as they come. There is much to discover yet, but so far, here is one of the things I have found:

Meeting amazing people (and learning from them).

When I say amazing, I mean deep, challenging, and worthy of emulating. I put this on my list when I met a "whistle blower" recently, and I realized, that in my life, there are people that make me step back and think about my own life. That is my definition of amazing.  So far, on top of my list (aside of course from the "whistle blower" are:

Tony Meloto (founder of Gawad Kalinga). -  Just an hour spent with that man, and there is so much to learn.  One of the things he said to our group was, "we teach our college graduates how to escape poverty, but not how to end it..." That gave me something to think about.

Fr. Tanseco (founder of Center for Family Ministries in Ateneo) who through his visioning was able to do the very thing that he was passionate about, and create an impact. I have learned so much from this man of God, not only about family, but about acceptance, empathy, and compassion. Thank you Father.

David Bosseau is another amazing man I have met. He grew up in an orphanage, but, through perseverance, made something of himself and eventually, decided that he had the "economics of enough".  He then became one of pioneers of microfinance in Asia, and is still helping millions of poor people even today. His theory of the "economics of enough", when I heard him speak, and when I read his life story, was something I could not stop my mind from engaging. He could have been wealthy by our standards, but chose to live simply.

I am finding that these people I find amazing have many things in common; simplicity, perseverance, and the courage to live out their passions and dreams. 

I look at my life and I see that I am surrounded by amazing people as well: My husband (who I believe has a heart after God, and who is also living out his dreams), My dad (one of the most upstanding people I know, such a great leader that even until now when he is long gone, his former sergeants still call us up to greet us on his birthday), My mom (generous, compassionate, and so ready to help anyone in need), My Lola Nanay (she would hold Bible studies for streetkids - at a time when it was still not in vogue to do so, bring them to the zoo, and bring apples to the slum areas during Christmas, while tagging me along), My Lolo Papa and Lola Mama (managed to raise 9 children, Lolo withstood the Death March in WWII, and Lola Mama, who patiently taught me math through her famous flash cards), and all my sisters who somehow manage to find ways to help my family, especially when we needed it the most. These people are far from perfect, but, that does not make them less amazing.

There are many more, and I consider myself blessed to have met all of these people, and, for my family, blessed to be a part of their lives.

Conversations with a whistle-blower

Just recently, I had the opportunity to meet a "local celebrity", and though the meeting was in the context of business, it eventually took a turn for deeper things.

As far as whistle-blowers in the Philippine context goes, Jun Lozada would probably by THE Whistle Blower, throwing caution to the wind (putting his neck on the line too by admitting his own corruption), and shedding light to a deal that the Philippine government had that would have cost the Filipino people millions in US dollars.

We met in a small room in La Salle Greenhills where he was, and still is, being protected by the brothers and the nuns from "evil", both known and unknown. Its his home, his family has been relocated there too, and at the same time, his "prison". He can only venture out of the La Salle compound with permission, and this with armed guards at all times.  After all the bruhaha over the things he revealed, his life has never been the same.

After the business side of our visit was done (nothing to do with his deal with the government, mind you, but something to do with safety and the environment), the conversation took on a different turn. He shared to us that late last year, an important government official then visited him at his humble abode. The long and short of the visit was that he was being offered 700 million pesos (around  US$15 million ), in whatever portfolio he preferred, and visas for his entire family for whatever country he wished to reside in. The catch was that he was going to recant everything he said before the Senate. The documents were prepared, he only needed to sign.  It was a friend who acted as the emissary, and told him, "You should take this offer, an offer like this comes only once in your life, and if you do, you'll be made for life."

He said no.

My goodness. I have been hearing two sides about this man, and I never really knew what to believe.  One thing is for sure, after meeting him, I sensed an inner strength that I have never had the opportunity to witness in anyone. He shared that a preacher visited him and asked him, "Jun, how do you pray?" to which he answered, "I pray that God would choose me to do His work as His servant."  To which the preacher replied, "Can you stop praying that way?  Because it is pretty obvious that God has already chosen you.  What you need to pray for is the strength to stand up for the truth..."

How strange that prior to this meeting, my current musings were on detachment (as seen by my previous blog entries), and here I meet a person who gives new meaning to the word "detachment". After that meeting, I could not help dwelling on the conversation, and the spirit of the man I just met. It made me look at my own values and wonder, if that had been me, would I have been able to say "no" to P700 million? I have debts to pay, children to feed and put to school, and perhaps, more importantly, dreams to fulfill. Would I have been able to say no?  And maybe, I'll never know the answer.  I'd like to say that, sure, that is tainted money, I WON'T TAKE IT.  But won't I...really...

It is not money that is seductive, but the dreams that you weave with it. If you rationalize it with family, needs, security, many things, even wrong things, begin to "make sense". It would "make sense" to be corrupt, steal, destroy someone's reputation if you rationalize it with your own needs, or, your family's needs.

And, at the risk of sounding preachy, maybe that is what attracted many people to Jesus. It was the ability to be so detached, not just to money, but to having a good reputation, to being comfortable, and for meeting his own needs. "Forgive them for they know not what they do", this said in the middle of being brutally tortured. Seems so easy to say, but is it, really?

And so, the list goes on to great people in this world who have made a difference, Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Dalai Lama, and closer to home would be a missionary I know named Dwight. If there is one thing in common that they have, it is detachment.

I can only pray to have that strength, teach it to my children, and let my life serve as an example. Bread and shoes. That is my current "mantra". If I have bread and on the table, and shoes on my feet, then, that is enough. Amen.

P.S.  I have been inquiring of myself as to what truly makes me happy. Currently on the list is: spending time with family, creating things with my hands, looking good, chocolate, milk tea, and after this, I've added one more - meeting great people.

Detachment: The 100 Thing Challenge

I started my 100 thing challenge last Friday.  Honestly, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  I was amazed at how many things I had that actually had no emotional pull.  So many things I kept because it might become useful "someday", but in all these years, have never actually become useful, just gathered dust.

Detachment. I believe that is the lesson of the 100 thing challenge. As I begin to lessen my hold on things, I find that I feel  lighter and free.  Perhaps, all these things that we own simply weigh us down.  Its like all these things have invisible threads attached to them.  We think that by owning more, we become free to do what we want, but the opposite is true. The more we own, and the higher our attachment to it, the more we are weighed down by it.

I have often been puzzled by why people in rural areas seem to be so much happier (and are actually nicer too) than people in the urban areas. My musings above may be the answer I have been looking for.

Yes, its true, I am giving away even these shoes that seem to have "some value".  I don't use them.  I am currently surviving on my high-heeled Crocs, my Vibram shoes for exercising, my Posh pocket shoes, a pair of heels from People are People, and my slippers. Right now that's all I need. All those shoes in the basket, are extra, beautiful as they may seem.

The journey still continues.  So far, I am loving it, but lets wait and see...

Today, I start on my 100 Thing Challenge

Ok...(gulp), today I start on my 100 Thing Challenge.  I have no idea where to start actually... as my cousin says, my make-up alone would probably be 100 items already...my husband is skeptical but supportive (he's actually thinking about the things he can clean up too...)

I'm actually a little scared. Scared that I won't be able to do it, scared that I may not be able to part with so much...but I'll never know until I try, right? But more than the 100 things, my goal is to get to the core of me. What makes me happy, truly happy?  And maybe another fear of mine is that when I strip it all away, all my stuff, all the bling, will there be anything of ME left?  What IS me? And have I covered myself with all this stuff to hide my vulnerabilities?

"...we entered this world penniless, and will leave it penniless..." That is more from the same place. I Timothy 6:6-8 (The Message). Its just a beautiful verse to reflect on right now. And somehow gives me the courage to start my 100 Thing Challenge. So...here goes...

...if we have bread on the table, and shoes on our feet, that's enough

"...if we have bread on the table, and shoes on our feet, that's enough". That quote is taken directly from I Timothy 6:8, from my favorite bible version, The Message. It made me stop and think, because its true. All other things are extra.  Now, honestly, I am not a simple person, I could even be called extravagant by some, but, really, simplicity makes sense. This blog will be dedicated to that journey of mine towards simplicity.  And, like many things in my life, I have outlined my steps towards it.  First, I plan to journal on the key question: How much is enough? Then, on the practical side, do the 100 Thing Challenge. Here is the article in NY Times that has challenged me towards this journey. So, here goes...